Insights from a Chick Flick

Last Monday I went to go see the movie “He’s Just Not That Into You.” It made me laugh. It was not the greatest movie I’ve ever seen but definitely entertaining. The entire movie is about making the same point over and over again; if he doesn’t pursue you he isn’t interested in you. The fun part is watching what women do, creating stories to explain his lack of interest, his not calling, his not purposing. They have friends to co-sign their stories, to support them in creating elaborate explanations as to why he didn’t call or write, complete with subtext behind every word, pause and expression. I laughed because at some point, to some degree, I and just about every woman I know have been through that phase. My big high school crush, looking back I hardly knew him. That didn’t matter though, I took the small amount I did know and made up the rest to suit my 16 year old fantasy of what love should look like. The disappointment was just part of the drama I was playing out. As I got older I began finding the drama exhausting and found that taking men and everything they say at face value would save me a lot of time and energy.

The movie got me thinking though. Where else in my life have I filled in the blanks as opposed to facing an uncomfortable truth? Did I make someone else into a villain as opposed to taking personal responsibility for being in the situation in the first place? Did I blame my body for it not being in the shape I wanted it in, as opposed to taking responsibility for how I treated my body? Did I blame my family for their discouraging me from taking that job across the country, as opposed to acknowledging I was simply afraid to go?

The only way to really take control of your body, your relationships, your career, and your life is to take personal responsibility. That means no filling in the blanks, no stores, no excuses, no explanations and no sugar coating. Reality is reality. If he doesn’t call he’s not into you. Decisions I make because of someone else are not the responsibility or fault of someone else. How I eat, how much I exercise, how much I sleep is not the fault of my boyfriend, my boss or anyone outside of myself. There is freedom in truth, there is freedom in personal responsibility, and there is freedom in standing in your power and embracing a path of your choosing.

It was a silly chick flick with a great reminder message and a fair amount of giggles. I recommend it.